Memories Within STORY DISCONTINUED
by I'veLostMyPride
Summary: My past is something I would never reveal... It is a secret that I have kept for centuries, a secret that I will let others see now, it is what shaped me into who I am today and it is dark and unforgivable.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Hetalia!

Previously called What Shaped Me Into What I Am Today.

Warnings: Nothing here!

...00...00...

England's POV

England scowled as he walked over to his chair. The nation's boss had decided that they were going to learn about each other's pasts to strengthen relationships (And hopefully not cause world war III over a petty argument). The other bosses had quickly agreed.

The british man glanced around the room to see who else was there. There were only a few milling around conversing with each other. It was likely that the bosses had decided to try the idea out with only a few nations at first before expanding the idea to other countries.

They were at the world conference room, the bosses had planned out everything, they were to pick a name out of the black bag at the end of the table, whoever the name was had their past shown to the others. England had just so happened to improve his control over his magic and so his boss suggested that he cast a spell of the nation that was chosen.

The other nations would view his or her memories through their mind, the nation that was chosen would also be with them, the downside was that the spell made the nation feel the pain of the event being viewed. England sighed and nearly lost his posture as he slumped bonelessly into his chair, that was until he heard America bounding over.

The nation grinned his hollywood smile before exclaiming in his ear. "Hey Iggy! The viewings about to start, you better get ready!"

England scowled at the young man. "I know that! Hold on lad, I need to get my spellbook."

He grabbed his spellbook as he stood and walked over to the front of the long table, Germany stood at the front, his hand just above the black bag.

...00...00...

Germany quieted all the nations, the tension was thick in the air, after all who wanted their memories viewed by people that were once their enemies, allies, lovers? The german grimaced and secretly hoped he would not get picked, he reached his hand in and pulled out a thin slip. His eyebrows just barely rose before he announced the name.

"Russia."

Russia's hand twitched, his history was dark and traumatizing, but there was no getting away this time.

He stood up and smiled childishly. "After this you will become one with Mother Russia, da?"

Some of the countries next to him shuffled away. The man watched as England slowly approached him.

"This won't take long l-lad," the man stuttered, opening his spellbook, he chanted in latin, "Ostendite mihi praeterita fac quod pertransivit laborum videam quomodo crevit Ostendite mihi praeterita"

The room glowed gold faintly, Russia swayed and fell back into his chair as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. The nations stared at him shocked. Wasting no time, England turned to the others and faced them as he continued to chant.

"Praeteritae videant videant quod pertransivit cernere cupiunt aerumnas uideant praeterita"

One by one, nations all slumped in their chairs as they drifted off, their minds traveling to see what hardships the mysterious Russian held to himself.

...00...00…

Translation:

"Ostendite mihi praeterita fac quod pertransivit laborum videam quomodo crevit Ostendite mihi praeterita" - Show me the past, show me what they went through, I want to see their hardships, how they grew, Show me the past

"Praeteritae videant videant quod pertransivit cernere cupiunt aerumnas uideant praeterita" - Let them see his past, let them see what he went through, they want to see his hardships, let them see his past


	2. Chapter 2

_**Blah**_ Old Slavic

 **Hi!** = Past Memories

I do not own Hetalia!

Also I want to clarify that I am not doing every detail of Russia's past, but I am rather writing a few chapters for each time period as if the nations are only getting a glimpse per each time period. I will be referring to the past Russia as the name he is going by at the time.

Warnings: This chapter might not be historically accurate and the way the nations speak may not be accurate. I apologize if I insult Russia or any other countries' history.

..00..00..

Russia shifted uncomfortably as the nations around him observed the land. The clearing was eerily familiar, this was the clearing he had first woken up in as the small state of Kievan Rus'.

 **A bush rustled and a young boy rolled out from the forest.**

Several nations jumped and they whirled around to face the forest behind them. As the young boy stumbled out of a bush, the nations quickly recognized who it was, one glance from the boy to Russia would tell you that the boy was Russia just… younger and smaller. The boy was a merely six years old, he had chubby cheeks (that Russia still retained after all these centuries) and sparkling violet eyes. Hungary along with a group of nations squealed, he was adorable.

Japan mumbled lowly, "Kawaii."

Russia blushed, embarrassed, he turned his head to the right as a pair of voices sounded. The nations simultaneously shifted to the right with him.

 **A young girl walked into the clearing. She gasped as she caught a glance of the small child sitting in the middle of the grass.**

One look at her could tell you that it was Ukraine.

 **Ukraine was about twelve years old, her short hair bobbed up and down as she skipped over to Russia, she knelt down and chirped at him.**

" _ **Hello! What is your name, I am Southern Kievan Rus."**_

 **The boy stared at her before replying**. " _ **I am Northern Kievan Rus."**_

 **The girl's eye widened and she smiled. "** _ **North? Then you are like me! I am traveling to the middle of Kievan Rus, would like you to come with me?"**_

 **The now dubbed North Kievan Rus nodded and Ukraine smiled as she picked up the boy into her arms.**

The scene faded before the nations could say anything. They stared as a new memory formed, it must have been a few weeks later because the two nations were in a bustling city.

England turned to Russia, "Where are we?"

Russia continued to stare at the familiar centre of Kievan Rus, after a moment's pause he answered the question.

"Kiev, it is a city that was the centre of Kievan Rus." The nations fell silent as they continued to watch

 **North Kievan Rus and South Kievan Rus walked with a few men trailing closely behind, ready to protect the embodiments if anything wrong were to happen. They walked into a large house, fancy greek themed designs engraved in the sides and edges. The founder of the very state sat at a large and long table.**

Russia recalled who he was, Oleg of Novgorod. He was a Viking prince, he conquered the city Kiev and founded Kievan Rus.

America turned to the large russian, he voiced a question that everybody had. "Who's that?"

Russia glanced at the young nation. "That is Oleg of Novgorod, the founder of Kievan Rus. One of Ukraine's servants was sent ahead to deliver a message that I was arriving."

Before the 1800s, it was common for a nation to reveal that they were the physical embodiment of a piece of land. They were often treated like royalty, treating your nation like they were any different would be considered treason.

Oleg was a tall man, he looked like a Santa that had his beard cut off, his hair was completely white and he had dark eyes. He wore armor, chainmail to be with a long cape hanging off one shoulder, it was dyed navy blue.

 **Kievan Rus sat in one of the chairs facing the man and they began a long (awkward) conversation.**

 **The man looked at the child before asking him. "** _ **You are North Kievan Rus, yes?**_ " **North Kievan Rus nodded.**

 **The man shifted before asking another question. "** _ **Will you help me in ruling over your land?**_ "

 **The boy nodded before voicing a statement. "** _ **Only if you promise to treat my land well and rule it to the best you can."**_

 **Oleg nodded in agreement. It was later decided that North Kievan would live with Oleg and be treated like a noble, respected but he would not be too noticed.**

...00...00...

Explanations:

Russia agreed to go with Ukraine so easily because even though he is embodiment, he is still slightly like a child and since he has not had contact with other people, he does not know that you should not trust just anyone.

Also you might have noticed that Ukraine is older than Russia, I changed Ukraine's age slightly so that she is older than Russia because you know, Russia does call her his older sister even when they are all once part of Kievan Rus (As said in the Goodnight With Sheep Volumes)

Things might be short for a while, I am still thinking about situations and how to depict Russia's history so the next few chapters may be short and brief, but I will try to extend them and make them more elaborate. So please be a little patient!


	3. Chapter 3

".."=Talking

'..'= thoughts

..=Point of View

Warnings: Gore and angst

I DO NOT OWN HETALIA!

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Russia's POV

Russia looked as the room changed, it would be around the early 900's. Kievan Rus was 42 years old by now and was thriving, the state offered many resources their main source of income being trading. The state had controlled three majorly important trade routes in eastern Europe. Russia shook away the thoughts and looked at his past self, he had barely grown and still looked like a child. "What time period is it?" Germany gruffly asked, "It is the early 900's". The nations watched as the men in the room discussed topics on trading. Russia remembered, the Byzantine Empire, Oleg wanted to make trade agreements and make a treaty with the strong empire. He remembered the personification, confident and cocky. He held a lot of power at the time. His eyes drifted away from the scene playing out, they would have meetings for the next few days before they had finally come to an agreement. America asked as the scene faded away, "What was that dude?" he nearly sighed before answering the young nation, "It was one of the meetings between Oleg and the leader of the Byzantine Empire, I forgot his name. Oleg wanted to make a treaty with the empire so that we could increase our economy from trade." The superpower nodded.

Several scenes played out, normal days in the city Kiev. Russia grimaced at the small stings and slight burning sensation from the memories of attempted invasions. His eyes widened at the scene that slowed down for the other nations to watch, Yaroslav the Wise. He truly lived up to his name, once he ruled Kievan Rus he had wanted to improve relations with the rest of Europe, he had made Kievan Rus to it's peak. His strategic thinking allowed for Kievan Rus to gain military strength. The scene made him avert his eyes, Yaroslav's death. He had sat with the man as he laid in his deathbed and the advice he had told to his sons did not work. The man had thankfully died of old age. The scene faded and he watched as Kievan was comforted by Ukraine as the now older boy sobbed. He was seven. Pain exploded in his side and he fell to the ground gripping his torso. The nations crowded around him worried and he hissed at them to back away. He stood up, slightly hunched over as his left side throbbed. After Yaroslav's death had marked the decline of Kievan Rus. The state fell into a civil war as the sons of Yaroslav did not listen to the man's advice and fought over who would rule the kingdom. Kievan Rus screamed as he twisted in the bed. He would spend many days like that. The state was vulnerable, the civil war kept it busy. It had hurt so much, to feel his people dying. Added with the pain, the state was almost constantly invaded by neighboring powers. His sides burned as he felt the phantom pains. The nations flinched as his past self moaned and twisted in pain, "Ve~ Germany! What's happening?", "Dude what's wrong?!", "What in the bloody hell is happening?". Russia groaned and held his head between his hands as he drew up his knees to his chest, the nations fell silent and looked at each other hopelessly. Ukraine walked to Russia and knelt down, "It will be okay Vanya." she cooed as she held him between her arms, Russia whimpered, "They won't stop." he was a child again, and he was hearing his people scream, and scream, and **scream** as they suffered. The invasion from the Mongols hurt so badly and it burned, oh it burned and **burned and MAKE IT STOP!** He shuddered and his past self shrieked in pain. The two Ukraines held their little brother as they screamed. The Mongols were disintegrating his state, burning away his identity. Who was he, Who was he, Who, Who, **Who?!** He never wanted to feel it again, the feeling of his state and people slowly dying. The door burst open and a tall man with braided brown hair stormed in, his face obscured by a hood. It was Mongolia. Kievan Rus was gone, the state broken down from a once prosperous state to a weakened personification barely holding on, owned by Mongolia as nothing more than land that could be claimed by the other powers. Mongolia threw Ukraine across the room as she tried to protect her little brother, he held the limp body on his shoulder. The boy barely reacted, his only answer was a groan. The man walked out the house, his guards blocked the girl and Russia knew that his past self would not see his beloved sister for the next few centuries, the only thing he had reminding him of her is the old white scarf she had given him, a scarf he later soak in blood. So much blood that it would stay forever pink, the traces of the disgusting red liquid never leaving him.

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I tweaked the history slightly, so I apologize if it seemed different!

I made it seem like Russia was in a lot of pain, I did that on purpose because after Yaroslav died, his sons fought for who would rule Kievan Rus. From what I gathered, that resulted in a civil war. This meant that Kievan Rus literally fell apart from the inside and added with that, the state's security was weakened which allowed for many invasions and attacks not just from Mongols but from neighboring states and empires. Kievan Rus was finally defeated and the land was taken over mostly by the Mongolians, but some other empires and states claimed some of the former land.


End file.
